Hell No L-O-L, Hell No L-O-L

This is my protest post to get rid of the abbreviation, "LOL".

Are you REALLY laughing out loud? Or are you just sitting on the other end of my text/email using a filler term like LOL to get me to shut up and leave you alone? I'm guessing, the latter.

It is so rare that I ever laugh out loud from written text. How many times have you sat at Barnes and Noble and heard an uncontrollable laughing howl coming from the fatty in the self help section? Never, because written text, when you are BY YOURSELF, isn't FUNNY!!

Recent uses of "LOL" I found wildly inappropriate:

Friend: "Running a couple of minutes late, LOL" <----Ummm... Why are you laughing about making me wait for you? 

Me: Sorry about missing that email, responding now.
Other party: ok, Lol. <---- WHAT?


Me (text): I'm so so sorry I am late but my dog got really sick this morning and I had to take care of him. I will be into work a bit late.
Other party: lol. no problem. <--- my dog was sick jerk, why are you laughing out loud?

Me: Your friend Tracy is here.
Other party: Oh, Lol. When will she be there until?
Me: 5
Other party: ok, lol. <------ I hate you.

Me: Guy at Starbucks messed up my drink order.
Other party: lol. <-----UGHHHHH, that wasn't funny. 

My all-time favorite is when people use LOL after something THEY say. This means you either like to laugh out loud at your own jokes or you are using LOL to imply that it was a joke. You are basically saying, "Hey get it? It was a joke.. get it? I'm laughing out loud, so you should be laughing out loud too, because it was a joke, get it?"

If you just love to LOL all over yourself, that is fine. Just please do me a favor and try and cutback on your LOLing. Perhaps in the future just gauge your reaction on a scale from one to ten as you type. One being you are frowning, ten being you just wet your pants and a little poop came out you laughed so hard. If you are on a level of 8-10, go ahead and type LOL. If you are anywhere from a 1 to a 7, hit the backspace three times and choose a different abbreviation (Haha is sometimes quite an effective replacement!)